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LAST NIGHT Last night I stayed at home and masturbated It felt so grand! I used my hand. Last night I stayed at home and masturbated It felt so neat! I used my feet. Beat it, stroke it, Slam it on the floor. Wrap it 'round the bedpost Twenty times or more! (fine) Last night I stayed at home and masturbated It felt so nice, I did it twice. Last night I stayed at home and masturbated I'm such a man -- I come by hand! Some people think that fornication is so grand But I would rather stay at home And do the job by hand! Last night, I laid in bed and held my plonker In my hand! And it was grand Last night, I laid in bed and masturbated It did me good! I knew it would First, I did the long strokes Up and down Up and down Then, I did the short strokes I tickled the crown I tickled the crown And then I eased it, squeezed it Whacked it on the floor Yanked it, spanked it Chucked it out the door Some people tell me sexual intercourse is grand But speaking for myself I'd rather hold it in my hand
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