He is Numbskull 14 and this is his story............

The tale begins on a subdued Sunday in Montreal. The day after a combination of strip clubs, hashing through the old city in a Red Dress and copious drinking was too much for a certain Boston GM who appeared with unexplained injuries and was duly rewarded for the dumbest behavior of the weekend. His prize, a coveted Numbskull, the 14th given away by MHHH. Meanwhile another collection of hashers noted the skull as a prime theft target. No opportunity occured as Master Gator held his prize tightly in his one working hand but........


.........fast forward to the DC Red Dress run where the Boston Hashers arrived at the mustering area parading the skull proudly. But carelessly. Quick work by a crafty blonde hashette and the skull was liberated from the Bostonian clutches and spirited away. He completed the run and remained all evening at the venue without detection. Dubya in his white house nearby was no less successful in finding weapons of mass destruction than this sorry crowd of Beantowners were in regaining their prize.

So blissfully unaware of the plotting
Now what could be in the bag?
With the skull safely liberated and brought to the healthy environs of upstate New York it was time to show him a good time. Where better to begin an introduction to a better life than a Hash. A run in perfect weather in the Mohawk valley was followed by a cookout and an introduction to hash etiquette. His new life as a New Yorker had begun.
Fall in NY
Skull with the Albany Hash Shit
The skull continues to be well treated, and is seen by the campfire with his liberator Bodsa
An intruduction to hash behavior

In a spirit of Hash fraternity BH3 were quickly notified of our possession of the skull, anonymously of course:

Master Gator immediately suspected Pencil Dick, a former Boston hasher now based in D.C.:

"Pencil Dick, you whiny little whore. I'm prepared to make you an offer. Would you like my offer now? My offer is this: nothing. Furthermore, I'd appreciate it if you shine and buff that skull and return it to me personally at the New England Red Dress (NERD) run 2003 on November 22.

Master Gator"

So angry but so wrong. In response to our second communication the collective intellect of the Boston Hash continued in the aggressive theme:

"you f-ing skull snatcher ... you will have the wrath of the Boston hash on your sorry weeny ass. We will find you and root you out of your sorry dank and dismal hiding place. (at this point they may have confused us with Saddam Hussein - editor)

Oh, and we have stuff to trade that you might prefer to the skull.

We have The Jizzmopper, who we will give to you along with a 6 pack of Old Milwaukee Tall Boys. We will even duct tape the sucker's mouth shut for you. You must keep him for at least a year or two.

Cums Alone (BH3 Scribe), Puff-n-Stuff (Bh3 RA) and Master Gator (BH3 GM), plus an assortment of other hashers present and watching the Pats game"

At least they were making an opening offer, but one which the Skull Liberation Army (SLA) could easily reject. Even before any members had met Jizz Mopper. We also felt an obligation to save the skull's psyche from having to deal with whining Red Sox fans when their inevitable defeat by the Yankees occurred, but a counter offer was made:

"In exchange for it's safe return we at the Skull Liberation Army (Red Dress undercover chapter) demand:

A bevvy of your fine Irish hashettes.
A 1000 word essay entitled "Why I must take more care of my skull".
A case of Sam Adams' finest.
A Red Sox world series hat.

We await you positive response."

So the skull's freedom continued with travel to West Point, where watching a hopeless Army team would prepare him for life as a loser New England sports fan:

The skull enjoys the tailgating but would like us not to elaborate on the unfortunate THFKAD/Portajohn incident
By this time New York was not enough for this skull and he demanded to join the high rolling, jet setting lifestyle of the Halvemein HHH, so he was dispatched to Vegas. The skull rarely came out into the light as he enjoyed the good life, but our trusty cameraman caught a typical pose.

Part 2

Skull Liberation Army © 2003