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THE GOOD SHIP VENUS 'Twas on the good ship "Venus, My God you should 'av seen us, The figurehead was a nude in bed Suckin a red-hot penis. CHORUS: Frigging in the rigging, Wanking on the planking, Masturbating on the grating The was fuck all else to do. The captain's name was Slugger He was diry bugger He wasn't fit to shovel shit On any buger's lugger. The first mate's name was Paul, He only had one ball But with that cracker he rolled terbaccer Around the cabin wall. The second mate's name was Andy His balls were long and bandy, The filled his ass with molten brass For pissing in the brandy. The third mate's name was Morgan, He was a frisly Gorgan, Three times a day he strummed away Upon his sexual organ. The captain's wife was Mabel And whenever she was able She gave the crew their daily screw Upon the messroom table. The Captain's randy daughter Was swimming in the water, Delighted squeals came as the eels Entered her sexual quarter. A cook whose name was Freeman, He was dirty demon, He fed the crew on menstrual stew And hymens fried in semen. Another cook was O'Malley, He didn't dilly dally, He shot his bolt with such a jolt He whitewashed half the galley. The Boatswain's name was Lester, He was a hymen tester, Through hymens thick he hoved his prick And left it there to fester. The engineer was McTavish And young girls he did ravish, His missing cock's at Istanbul He was a trifle lavish. A homo was the Purser, He couldn't have been worser, With all the crew he had screw, Until they yelled, "Oh no sir." Another one was Cropper Oh Christ he had a whopper, Twice round the deck Once round his neck And up his bum for a stopper. The cobin boy was Kipper, A dirty little nipper, They stuffed his ass with broken glass And circumcised the skipper. The ship's dog's name was Rover The whole crew did him over, They ground and ground the faithful hound From Singapore to Dover, The ship's cat's name was Hippy, His hole was black and shitty, But shit or not it had a twat, The Captain showed no pity. 'Twas in the Adriatic Where the water's almost static The rise and full of arse and ball Was almost automatic. On the trip to Buenos Aires, We rogered all the fairies, We got the syph at Tenneriffe, And a dose of clap in the Canaries. 'Twas on the China Station, To roars of approbation, We sunk a Junk with a load of spunk, By mutual masturbation. So now we end the serial Through sheer lack of material I wish you luck and freedom from Diseases venereal.
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