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Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?
"Cool hash page"
December 2002


'Twas on the good ship "Venus,
My God you should 'av seen us,
The figurehead was a nude in bed
Suckin a red-hot penis.

CHORUS: Frigging in the rigging,
Wanking on the planking,
Masturbating on the grating
The was fuck all else to do.

The captain's name was Slugger
He was diry bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel shit
On any buger's lugger.

The first mate's name was Paul,
He only had one ball
But with that cracker he rolled terbaccer
Around the cabin wall.

The second mate's name was Andy
His balls were long and bandy,
The filled his ass with molten brass
For pissing in the brandy.

The third mate's name was Morgan,
He was a frisly Gorgan,
Three times a day he strummed away
Upon his sexual organ.

The captain's wife was Mabel
And whenever she was able
She gave the crew their daily screw
Upon the messroom table.

The Captain's randy daughter
Was swimming in the water,
Delighted squeals came as the eels
Entered her sexual quarter.

A cook whose name was Freeman,
He was dirty demon,
He fed the crew on menstrual stew
And hymens fried in semen.

Another cook was O'Malley,
He didn't dilly dally,
He shot his bolt with such a jolt
He whitewashed half the galley.

The Boatswain's name was Lester,
He was a hymen tester,
Through hymens thick he hoved his prick
And left it there to fester.

The engineer was McTavish
And young girls he did ravish,
His missing cock's at Istanbul
He was a trifle lavish.

A homo was the Purser,
He couldn't have been worser,
With all the crew he had screw,
Until they yelled, "Oh no sir."

Another one was Cropper
Oh Christ he had a whopper,
Twice round the deck
Once round his neck
And up his bum for a stopper.

The cobin boy was Kipper,
A dirty little nipper,
They stuffed his ass with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper.

The ship's dog's name was Rover
The whole crew did him over,
They ground and ground the faithful hound
From Singapore to Dover,

The ship's cat's name was Hippy,
His hole was black and shitty,
But shit or not it had a twat,
The Captain showed no pity.

'Twas in the Adriatic
Where the water's almost static
The rise and full of arse and ball
Was almost automatic.

On the trip to Buenos Aires,
We rogered all the fairies,
We got the syph at Tenneriffe,
And a dose of clap in the Canaries.

'Twas on the China Station,
To roars of approbation,
We sunk a Junk with a load of spunk,
By mutual masturbation.

So now we end the serial
Through sheer lack of material
I wish you luck and freedom from
Diseases venereal.

Halve Mein Hash House Harriers, Established 2000. All Rights Reserved. @@