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I DON'T WANT TO JOIN THE ARMY I don't want to join the army I don't want to go to war I'd rather hang around Picadilly underground Living off the earnings of a high born lady I don't want to take it up me arsehole Don't want me bullocks blown away (blown away) I'd rather hash with Halve Mein Bonny bonny Halve Mein And fornicate me fucking life away, gor blimey Monday I touched her upon the ankle Tuesday I touched her upon the knee Wednesday I confess I lifted up her dress Thursday I saw it, gor blimey Friday I put me hand upon it Saturday she gave me balls a tweak (balls a tweak) Sunday after supper I put the old boy up her Now she earns me 40 bob a week, gor blimey I don't want to join the army I don't want to go to war I'd rather hang around Picadilly underground Living off the earnings of a high born lady Call on the Provincial Territory Call on the navy and marines Call on me mother, Me sister and me brother But for fuck's sake don't call me, gor blimey I don't want to be a housewife I'd much rather be a whore I'd rather turn some tricks Involving foot long pricks Housework can be such a bore I don't want to do his laundry I don't want to cook his fucking food (fucking food) And if I'm getting laid I should be getting paid Else I'm truly getting screwed
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