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THE HAIRS OF HER DICKEY DI-DO Also known to purists as "The Mayor of Bayswater"; see alternate start below. Chorus: And the hairs (and the hairs) And the hairs (and the hairs) And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees One black one, one white one, and one with a little shite on And one with a little light on, to show us the way She's not a great looker, but everyone took 'er And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees You'd need a coal miner to find her vagina And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees If she were my daughter I'd have them cut shorter And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees I've touched it, I've licked it, it tastes just like brisket And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees She lived by the waterfront, with the waves lapping up and down her cunt And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees She married an Italian, who was hung like a fucking stallion And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees She divorced the Italian, and married the stallion And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees I folded her lips back, and there found a six-pack And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees It was always hit-or-miss, whether I could find her clitoris And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees I reached into her thing, and there found my class ring And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees I've licked it, I've felt it, it was just like velvet And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees She says that she's not a whore, but she bangs like a shithouse door And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees The aroma it lingers, it smells like fish fingers And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees She stayed in Seattle, and went down on cattle And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees She met a Hash House Harrier, who fucked her but wouldn't marry her And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees It'd take a brontosaurus to eat her clitoris And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees It'd take a bloody wrecker to extract your pecker And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees It's like going through a forest, to find her clitoris And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees Her love thought he'd seduced her, but turned out he'd only goosed her. And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees On her first trip through Melbourne, she strangled her firstborn And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees She lives on a cattle ranch, and shits like a bloody avalanche And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees If she were my daughter, I'd have her cut it much shorter And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees On a trip through Vladivostock, she sampled a bit of horsecock And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees She sits on a mountain, and pisses like a bloody fountain And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees I flicked it, I licked it, I even drop kicked it And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees I fucked her, I sucked her, I even loose rucked her And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees I touched it, I poked it, I even rolled and smoked it And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees It takes a hasher from Halve Mein to fuck her a dozen times And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees Alternate start: The Mayor of Bayswater, he had a lovely daughter And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees |