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If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
"Cool hash page"
December 2002

Hash 76 - Idyllic Summer Days - Mariaville, NY

When: July 10, 2004
Where: Mariaville
Hares: Finger Lickiní Good and Flip Top Fag
Scribe: McCavity

Hounds: Dirtbag, THFKAD, McCavity, Bodsa, No Name Jeff, Touch Down Jesus, Pontius Penis, Laurel and Hardly Running, Mystery Hasher, Peace OíChum, Dr Queer, 2 others.

After a long than normal break between runs (generating a heartfelt thank-you from a collection of overworked livers) caused by the international hash participation of 6 of our number, the HMHHH gathered in the wilds of Schenectady County for Finger Lickiní Goodís much anticipated annual run and party. Our ranks for the day were bolstered by two new boots: No name Jeff, a virgin and no name who knows (hey, Iím a drinker; canít expect feats of memory) who had failed to make it out with us before. As beers were quaffed our hares Finger Lickiní Good and Flip Top Fag disappeared into the bush, promising shiggy and more shiggy.

The pack was not disappointed as a succession of woodland paths required delicate footwork to keep the shoes dry, or a who gives a f**** mentality to plow on regardless. Numerous checks kept the pack together, and several times it took careful work (or given the nature of the participants, dumb luck) to pick out trail again. The pack was reunited by the traditional song check where Dirtbag insisted on climbing onto a precarious perch to photograph the pack (was it really worth the effort?), then thought better of the idea and attempted to destroy the evidence. Luckily no name Jeff was on hand to pluck the falling camera from the air, immediately earning the temporary hash name Nice Snatch.

The pack had been warned to expect an open area with limited marking and sure enough they tackled it with the usual care and skill hashers always employ. Yes, we ran around like headless chickens, shortcutting like crazy and generally progressing slowly in what was hoped to be the correct direction. Eventually a trail was found out of this mess and the pack raced on. Racing in fact was the order of the day when the hares were spotted and our overachievers THFKAD and Pontius Penis both raced and attempted to trip up the other in the final sprint over a stream. Guys, this is not a race!

With a short but fun route complete (a run with a high Sheltie-shiggy co-efficient: this is a measure of exactly how much mud is embedded in Laurel and Hardly Runningís fur or is transferred to other hashers, car seats etc), and Bodsa once again celebrating her failure to be DAL, the pack headed for Finger Lickiní Goodís house where beer and a party awaited. Circle took place with a number of interested (awed?, disgusted?) onlookers and the usual rousing renditions including some new songs picked up by our world travelers. We hope that is all they picked up in their travels! Are you listening Doctor?

Our hares were congratulated on their trail in the traditional manner, FRB was given to PP, with DAL appropriately going to Touch Down Jesus. Our virgin was welcomed with flour and beer and our backsliders were welcomed back into the fold: Dirtbag for missing more runs in a row than he had ever missed before (this would have been acceptable if he had lingered over a 69, but a long 72 isnít quite the same) and Flip Top Fag for only turning up about twice a year. Our crowd was also invited to down-down and joined in with enthusiasm, before the coveted Hash Sh*t was awarded to THFKAD. For whining and racing and for being THFKAD (in the absence of anyone doing something spectacularly stupid).

From here the day rapidly became messy. Needless to say beer and a hot tub were to blame! Thanks to Finger Lickiní Good for welcoming the hash to his party once again.


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