What: Tap Dat Ass’s Birthday Hash - 506th Run
Where: Saratoga Springs, NY
Who: Dirtbag, Willy Wanker, Moans Aloan, WhoDaFuq, Jizz Hands, Jizzney Gland, Hymen DickedOver, Virgin Charlie, Just Dan, Sexhibitionist, DeciBelle, Tap Dat Ass, Penis Machinist, Mount My Hams, Super Flaggot, Seizeher Cooch, Sea Queef PO, Hounds: Random Acts of Dog, STFU, Ozzie, Bailey
Sweat test failure: I Fix Boners, F3
Hare: Tap Dat Ass

This was hashing at its best! I got there only minutes late and the pack was all there prelubing, huge improvement from the last trail!! Trail was awesome! There were woods and checks, the hare did a great job keeping the pack pretty close together, but that should be expected since she is a long time veteran hasher who has hashed all over the country. If you want to learn how to hare you should be hare raised by this girl! In the woods we ran through black stinky mud and there was a cool water crossing with two big logs, this was an epic trail! There was one very small hiccup for the pack.

We followed trail up a short hill to a check point. We looked left, we looked right and found three marks with a false. We looked straight down the trail……………OK, the entire pack of 17 plus dogs did a grid search for ten minutes, finally we found a song check about 500 feet ahead, WOW, how could we have lost trail like that, we have an epic trail with a magnificent hare, how could 17 people not find a single mark?? We sing, we get our confidence back, let’s go find some beer! Now we don’t know what direction we were actually supposed to get to this check from but we have to assume that the trail doesn’t go back to the general direction we came from. Straight ahead we find three marks and a false, back tracking to the right we find three marks and a false. Where is trail?? Another less organized grid search. We are explaining to the virgin and the Just who has returned to hashing after a ten year break (but he reads the emails and keeps track of the web site so he’s either still interested or a little kinky) that this is not how most trails end up. We are trying to decide if we should zen as a group to the back yard of a house we can see through the trees – where is the beer? And then………….a voice cums from out of the dark…………..”Oh thank God! There you are! On Hare!”

I know that voice, that is the voice of our hare! Our hare is standing on our last song check and gathers the pack around her. We were so lost the hare had to cum find us?? Nope. There is a reason we couldn’t find trail. THERE WAS NO TRAIL.

We were finding the prelaid falses and checks the hare intended to connect with the actual trail! Our amazing veteran hare with much hashing history had gotten lost or ran out of flour or something and the pack had literally run until there was no trail left to run!

Hysterical!

So off goes the hare to set a trail for us to follow and we wasted time singing the lamest version of “I used to work in Chicago”, then a rousing version of the S& M Man – that’s always fun with new people in the group! We were pretty thirsty after that so we decide that the hare had had enough time and we didn’t want her to get lost again so we took off after her. There was beer, there were marks, pretty much back to be an awesome trail. In circle we had a visit from I fix Boners, we miss her! F3 failed the sweat test. There was food, there were down downs, we named Just Ron – CQueefPO, there is an underground movement to change his name to Mustang Sally. He won the Hash Trash again because he really likes carrying it. It was a fabulous evening, if you were there – thank you for reminiscing with me. If you weren’t there put on some sneakers and come out next time – quit being lazy!

Yours Ridiculously,
Moans Aloan

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