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If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
"Cool hash page"
December 2002

Hash 127 - Black Beery Friday - Windsor, MA

When: November 25, 2005
Where: Windsor, MA

Scribes: McCavity and Anti-Cock

To add to Anti-Cock's opus (by the way I'd call it run 134, that's two runs closer to the fabled 138th run. For the arithmetically challenged 138 is two 69's, and we could all do with two 69's.):

Hares: Cums On Vacation, Peace O' Chum, Cainus Lickus, and Suck Faster Bitch (warning, do not employ POC as a hare. Every time she tries to hare trail she finds it closed to hashers).

Halve Mein: Nice Snatch, Prickly Bush, Pig Fucker a.k.a. THFKAD, Pop Top, Krusty the Meat Miser, Dr. Queer, Rainier Queer, McCavity, Just Shayne, Just Sandy, Laurel and Hardly Running, Tubslut, One Drunk Watching. HM Virgins: Just Michael, Just Jay, Just Said, Just Rochelle, Just Amber, and a big sexually frustrated white husky virgin dog named Dante.

Happy Valley: Anti-Cock, Sodom Me! (Just Hossein), Big Piles (Just Steve), Just Diane, Zuni, Scruffy

Boston: Friar F*ck, Zena

Circle went as follows:

Hares demonstrated how to do a down down.

FRB - Just Hosein. Joined by other FRB's McCavity (Halve Mein), Friar F*ck (Boston - also Boston DAL) and DAL's Just Sandy (Halve Mein), Anti Cock (Happy Valley) and Suck Faster Bitch (who was a hare but somehow DAL for Burlington). Cue other hares drinking.

Virgins - Just Michael, Rainier Queer made hime come. Does not know what the square root of 69 is.
Just Jay, Sandy made him come, he would f*ck sheep.
Just Said, Sandy and Rochelle made him come. We don't know if SFB did too as he demonstrated his favorite sexual position.
Just Amber, Sandy made her come too. Would get off on a bus full of lesbians.
Rochelle, Sandy her sister made her come. Willy their father made Sandy come. Incest is best boys, and she got all she could eat of Pig F*cker for under $1.

Hash Crash - Just Jay drank with our latecomers Tubslut and Just Shayne.

There may have been other latecomers who never knew we moved the start [Trash Editor: There were - Dirtbag showed up a good hour late]. They will be dealt with next circle. [Trash Editor: And he was].

Backsliders - One Drunk Watching, Just Diane, Rainier Queer, Just Shayne, Just Sandy, Anti Cock, Just Steve.

Analversaries - Pig F*cker (110), Dr Queer (40) who was on top of Prickly Bush (10) four times, Tubslut (25), Rainier Queer for one year of hashing.

The overachievers drank too, Just Hosein for two marathons and everyone else who had done a real r*n recently: POC, COV and of course when one hare drinks...

Namings - Just Steve could have been blessed with: Fuck Me Till My Eyes Pop Out, Heavy Stacks, Cums In Drips and Spurts, UAss, Do Your Ass, Sheepfucker, Two Dogs F*cking, Wayne Campbell's Chocolate Starfish but got away with Big Piles.
Just Hossein avoided: Sticky Crotch, Chemical Crotch Stopper, Wayne Campbell's Plastic Starfish, Tubeslut, Likes it Long and Hard, or Cum Guzzling Crack Whore. He was named Sodom Me.

Lost shit saw McCavity drinking for a sweatshirt and One Drunk Watching for leaving a whole set of clothing in a bar at his last Halve Mein run.

Hashit for Happy Valley went to Anti-Cock either for leaving circle or just for being the bestest darn hashit they have.
Nominations for Halvemein hashit were: Poptop for failing to steal the Happy Valley hashit in Pittsfield, THFKAD for admiring a pair of bouncing breasts, which later turned out to belong to Tubslut and Dr Queer because he left a can of PBR at the beer check. While that would normally count as good taste, suck beer abuse is a crime against the hash and Dr Queer was duly awarded the coveted hashit. [Trash Editor: Which was later stolen. Hooray!]

At this point the beer had run out and the smokers had had to bail out to get their lips around a penis substitute so circle was closed with a renditions of Swing Low.

At some point later in the evening the female virgins received an alouetting. While the tits were great big and swingy the event lacked the usual gropatiousness we associate with our missing Dirtbag.

- HM occasional scribe McCavity

Subject: Happy Valley #132 or was it 134?

The long sought "413 Hash" finally was held in Puff 'n Stuff, Cainus', and literally in Suck Faster Bitch's back yard. Yes, we're talking the Pittsfield, Mass environs here - Dalton/Windsor, Mass. Luckily for the Hares there was no need for white anthrax hash marks, because the whole running area was coated from anywhere of 7-8 to 9 inches of fresh snow.

Hares: This hash was co-hared by members of the HVH3, The Halve Meins and Burlington H3. Cums On Vacation, Peace O' Chum, Cainus Lickus, and Suck Faster Bitch. This quartet was able to outrun the lushs in the pack and laid a live trail.


Happy Valley:
Anti-Cock, Just Hossein, Just Steve, Just Diane

Halve Mein:
Nice Snatch, Prickly Bush, Pig Fucker a.k.a. THFKAD, Pop Top, Krusty Just Michael, Ditch Bitch, Just Jay, Dr. Queer, Just Said, Just Rochell, Just Sandy, Just Amber, Just Shayne, McCavity, One Drunk Watching

Boston H3:
Friar F#ck

Westchester H3:
Tubslut - alas, poor Tubslut. The Hot tub was out-of-order... :-(

I think I may have missed a couple of names here. If so, shoot me an addendum.

Oh yeah and hash mongrels were:
Scruffy, a.k.a. "Blow Me Again Dante" or "Face F*cker"
Dante, a.k.a. "Thank you Scruffy, may I have another?"
Zena, a.k.a "Shitty Trail"
La La

The pack gathered at Notchview Reservation in East Windsor just off Rte 9 and Just east of Rte 8A. The original start was 1330 but that got pushed back to about 1400Hrs. The assembled pack then drove to the real start which was about a mile or so further east to Suck Faster Bitch's parent's Chateau in the woods.

The Hares asked for a good 6.9 minute cranium start. Nice Snatch from the Halve Meins graciously assumed RA duties and ran the introductions and then led the assembled masses in a rousing "Joe from the Button Factory."

The Hounds then fell upon the trail with great anticipation and thirst. The trail zig zagged through coniferous trees laden with fresh powder. All too soon trail emerged onto the backside of SFB's place with a keg of some amber ale awaiting us. Those twicky hares, putting a beer check so close so they could scurry away.

After almost killing the keg, the hounds were off again thru the drifting snow. The winds began to pick up but we were hashing through heavy woods so we were shaded from the worst of it. Trail went west along the edge of a cemetery then emerged onto a west to east running road. Here there was what I thought was a Schnapp check ( a circle with an "S" in it) but I was told that's an Albany sign for "Snot Check." So, McCavity checked east and the rest of the pack checked west. TT ran west.

At this point, trail began a gradual uphill climb into the wind. The views to the east were getting more and more spectacular as we climbed and the sun was setting so that orangey color was getting cast on snow tipped mountains and snow fringed ridges. It looked really cool.

Soon, trail slipped off to the right thru some massive field stone pillars onto an old lane leading to a HUGE field. The old maple trees lining the lane soon led further into this huge field where the wind really was in your face. The snow here was anywhere from ankle deep to 7-8, or 9 inches. All the while a leanto shelter was visable and thats where the FRBs were waiting at beercheck number two. After copius amounts of PBR were quaffed, hares again were off higher into the field.

The hounds soon followed but then discovered that the trail had a hairpin turn where the FRBs were running past the DFLs but just yards away. So, most of the pack short cutted and caught up with the FRBs. Trail was now tucked inside a woodline parallel to the big field and began descending down an old horse trail that was very slippery. Just Jay managed the first observed "Hash Crash" of the day.

Trail conitnued down hill, till we came to the cemetary next to SFB's beerhaus. Trail crossed the bone yard, (where SFB enjoyed her first kiss, sniff - sniff, how romantic. I did inquire as to whether or not her fait romantique was alive or not, she assured me alive) Here, trail ended and the Circle business was soon commenced.

At the circle:

Pig Fucker assumed RA duties and first order of business was assembling the hares. We did some down down song. Then all the virgins were brought into the circle along with most of their sponsors. Many made themselves cum. Some like Just Rachell and Just Sandy were legacies! Those two sisters are the off spring of non other than Albany's Wee Willie. So in actuality, who made you cum? Daddy...

Questions included: Just Jay: If he was a female sheep would he screw a ram? He replied yes, we all replied, "Sheep Phucker!!!!!"
Just Said had to demonstarte his favorite sexual position with SFB.
Just Sandy was lucky enough to learn what was "Under a Buck" from Pig Phucker.

Dr Queer's 40th hash was noted, as was Tubsluts 25th Albany Hash and Prickly Bush's 10th.
Just Hossein was noted for Over Achieving having recently run two marathons and continued to hash as part of his training.
Just Jay was nailed for his hash crash.
Backsliders were One Drunk Watching, Just Diane fro the HVH3 (last hashed like three years ago) and Anti-Cock (for missing like one hash)
Latecummers were Tubslut and Just Shayne.
Hashits were awarded to (oops) I didn't write down who got the Albany Hashit awarded to them, I think it was Dr. Queer? And somehow the HVH3 hashit was awarded to me again for some trumped up charge.

Finally we put our half minds together to cum up with names for Happy Valley's Just Steve and Just Hossein. Just Steve who is a library employee at UMass, was not named: Fuck Me Till My Eyes Pop Out, Heavily Stacked, Cums In Drips and Spurts. He was named "BIG PILES".
Just Hossein who is a Doctoral Student in Polymer research at UMass, was not named: Sticky Crotch, Chemical Crotch Stopper, Wayne Campbell's Plastic Starfish, Tubeslut, Likes it long and hard, or Cum Guzzling Crack Whore. He was named "Sodom Me!"

Following hash religion we retired to the Fully stocked open bar in SFB's dungeon of horrors and fetishes. There was cheesy poofs and other assorted fingering foods. Later SFB and others lavished a fantastic chow of Vodka based ziti and stuff. Then the harriets and Pig Fucker put on a fashion show of old Prom dresses and 80's music. Various shades of dress and undress were observed. (Stop lifting up your dress PF'er!!!!) There were some more antics but we'll leave those responsible safely esconced in anonimity.

This scribe left about 2100HRs so if anything else zany and reportable happened add it later.

Faithfully Scribbled,
HVH3 Scribe


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