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If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
"Cool hash page"
December 2002

Hash 124 - Halloween Hash 2005 - Troy, NY

Hares: McCavity (Lance Armstrong), Bodsa (Ghoul)

Hounds: Dirtbag (Biker), THFKAD (Napolean Dynamite), Poptop (Caveman), Laurel and Hardly Running (Fairy Princess), Peace O’Chum (Naughty Schoolgirl), Astro Homo (Aristotle), Sperm Bank (Groucho Marx), All Holes Hoping (Texan), Nice Snatch (caveman), Stickley Bunz (Safety Sex), Dr Queer (Breathalizer), Willy W**ker (Bullshit), Tubslut (Sexy Hooker), Lickalotopus (Texan), Ditch Bitch (Klingons, then a Male Flasher), Donkey Style (Beetlejuice), Dum Cumster (Cow), Rainier Queer (Mr Clean), Timber (Dog), Prickly Bush (German Fraulien), Just Sandy (Teapot) [3], Just Shayne (Prisoner) [V], Just Doug (Vampire) [V], Just Christine (Vampire) [V], Ass Ranger (Teenaged Mutant Duct Taped Turtle) [Visitor]

Click here for a map of the route!

Wow, what a beautiful day for a hash, sunny 50 degrees, three virgins, and everybody in costume on a side street in Troy. What were the hares thinking!! Anyhow, as the pack gathered and the hares were preparing to take off we had several drive by scary moments, which we washed away with our favorite suds forming libation. After hares away we milled about smartly until the chalk talk; with three virgins, I did the best I could at explaining the marks to which one of the virgins asked if he would have to remember these hieroglyphics, to which we said “Of course”. After the chalk talk, we moved into hash aerobics with a rousing Father Abraham, which quickly turned into the On-On to search out our clever hares.

Trail turned towards the Samaritan Hospital and through its parking lot, then circled back around to RPI for the first Eagle Turkey split. The Eagle trail brought us around to a wonderful view of Watervliet and the surrounding hillside with its breathtaking fall foliage, the haunted hospital, and onwards looping past the football field and around to the commons. We passed through several RPI community areas before rejoining with the Turkeys. It was somewhere on the Eagle trail that THFKAD became totally lost, he not only looked like Napoleon Dynamite, he acted like him too. We came to our first song check where we performed Oh, Sir Jasper.

From here we continued onto Rt 2 and uphill to Pawling Ave. Trail went up Pawling Ave, into the Old Mt Ida cemetery and followed around the lakeside of the cemetery to the first Beer Near, which we found in a scary old abandoned crypt. Just Sandy never made it here and Bodsa went autohashing for our lost Tea Cup. As the pack gathered for more liquid libations and some snack food, the hares were away, and the pack broke out into song, as often is the case. After drinking our fill the pack was off again. Trail led us further up Pawling Ave heading towards Prickly Bush’s Alma Mater, Emma Willard. However a class reunion was not on the schedule for today’s trail. Trail turned right and continued on through the projects and out to Griswold High School. Here we came across our second Turkey Eagle split.

Continuing on Eagle the trail circled around Smarts pond and Burdens pond, these seem to be convenient places for the youth of Troy to dispose of their old used cars, or newly stolen cars. The hares treated us to several nice views and circled the trail around to meet up with the Turkeys at the second beer check. The hares promised us it would be a short trail to the finish, and true to their word it really was. The trail continued down hill with only two more checkpoints and a finish at the South End Tavern (complete with a Ladies Entrance.) The hounds ran, walked, limped, and several were even driven to the finish, where pitchers of beer were consumed and some good old fashioned greasy spoon diner food was eaten.

The hash then departed for THFKAD’s pad where a keg awaited our attentions and circle was convened:

Dirtbag, Scribe for the day and GM, Oct 29, 05

Hares note: I take you past 4 freakin’ great waterfalls and does one get a mention? This is what we put up with all those wet hashing days for.


Hares: McCavity, Bodsa

FRB – Dirtbag with overachieving virgin FBI’s Just Shayne and Stickley Bunz

DAL – THFKAD with fellow autohashers Peace O’Chum, Lickalotopus, All Holes Hoping, Just Sandy

Dog Owners – McCavity, Bodsa, Donkey Style + dog walkers on trail, all who have had sexual contact with a dog in the last month, all who have done it doggy style in the last month (most of the pack).

Farting in Circle – All Holes Hoping

Playing with himself in Circle – Dirtbag

Matching costumes – Just Shayne and Donkey Style (stripes), Poptop and Nice Snatch (cavemen), Lickalotopus and All Holes Hoping (cowboys)

Virgins (only Just Shayne, we lost the rest en route to THFKAD’s) – she would not get off a bus full of lesbians, had all she could eat for under a buck and is a Goatf**ker. Drank with her sponsor Nice Snatch and that other f**ker of animals, Pigf**ker.

Best Costume:

First Round winners: Prickly Bush, Stickley Bunz, Peace O’Chum, Tubslut, Just Sandy, Nice Snatch, Willy W**ker
Second Round winners: Prickly Bush, Stickley Bunz
“Bend Off” winner: Prickly Bush

Backsliders: Sperm Bank, Stickley Bunz, All Holes Hoping, Lickalotopus, Ditch Bitch, Ass Ranger, Rainier Queer

October overachievers (6 or more October runs of 10 possible) - Dirtbag, THFKAD, Poptop, Laurel and Hardly Running, Peace O’Chum, McCavity (All 10), Bodsa, Willy W**ker, Tubslut, Prickly Bush

Hashit Nominations – Astro Homo for leaving his wallet and allowing us to find out his name, All Holes Hoping for T-bagging on trail, Dr Queer for leaving hashit behind again, Poptop for offering to count Lance Armstrong’s balls, THFKAD for letting Poptop get behind him

The winner was Astro Homo, who returned just in time to drink. Joined by our Chinese assholes Rainier Queer, Willy W**ker, Just Sandy.

Just Shayne was alouetted and circle was closed.


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