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If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
"Cool hash page"
December 2002

Welcome to the Halve Mein HHH home page.

Welcome StatuTori Gape & Grope Therapy!
Hashing Doesn't Suck

On-On! Come join us for a run and a cold one!!

We are located in Southern Saratoga County and currently run every 2-3 weeks throughout the year. We will sponsor runs anywhere within an hour of the Capital region and further, if it sparks interest.

Anyone interested in hashing and would like to try it - come on out! Your first run is on the hash (thats right free, gratis, no money, just your time, you won't be disappointed)

Next Run (Updated 10/21/16):

The pack did indeed locate the "luxury tree stand" pictured here on Hash 544!. Like so many things (as you ladies know) it was smaller in real life...

What: 545 Hashtobeer Weeknight #4 Hash
When: Wednesday, Hashtobeer 26, 6PM
Hare: The Virginator
Where: Parking lot near Judson St & Livingston Ave, Tivoli Park, Albany, NY Google: Google: 413 Livingston Avenue, Albany, NY 12206

We're not sure if the Virginator has ever laid a trail before, but we stupidly said yes when he volunteered to set one for us. Hope he doesn't use different marks. But he does have this to say:

Bring Fleshlights. It's Seth MacFarlane 's Burfday. (That's all I got) Want to know more? Show up for chalk talk, fuckers!
On After: The Orchard Tavern, 68 North Manning Boulevard, Albany, NY 12206 Erections
(Kinda gives you a funny feeling in your pants not being around 'Toga, huh?)

The standard malarky: It's dark. Ya'll need cranium lights. Buy a damn whistle, Napolean. Extra cash for food afterwards. 5 dollah make-a ya holla.

What: 546 Halloweenies Hash
When: Saturday, Hashtobeer 29, 1PM
Scares: One Trick Near, Pig Dick, DeerF*cker
Where: TBA - Schenectady

Wonderful wonderful HASHTOBEER continues! Woot! A full month of hashing every Wednesday and 2 Saturdays. Just like a grown up hash does. Remember - if you make all 6 hashes, your NURD rego is locked in at $69!

Hope you have your costume picked out!

"From there to here,
from here to there,
funny things are everywhere."
- Dr. Suess

Newest Trashes (Updated 10/30/15):

Ever wonder what it's like when the pack is snared by the hare? Hash scribe Moans Aloan describes the feeling in this retelling of Tap Dat Ass's birthday Hash 506

Ever wonder what it's like to do trail completely alone? Hash scribe Moans Aloan lived up to her name and scrawled this send up of the Jizz Family Robinson's recent trail, Hash 504

Since the 500th Hash is a special event, Little Wang Theory and Moans Aloan double teamed us with trashes from both ends of the pack. Check them out 500th Run

Stand in Hash scribe Moans Aloan was able to type most of this while riding her bike during this years BASH

Hash scribe Little Wang Theory took his hands out of his shorts long enough to scribble a trash for Run #482, Blow it out your Kazoo Hash

Hash scribe Little Wang Theory bought a map and a dictionary and takes the piss out of the hash in this weeks send up of run Run #484, Chinese New Year Hash

Hash scribe Little Wang Theory got off your Mom long enough to mumble a trash for Run #485, Spring Forward! Hash

Hash scribe Little Wang Theory pretended he actually came to a hash and wrote this send up of our St Patty's Day-ish trail. So easy, even a monkey can do it: Run #486

Stand In Hash scribe PigFucker farted out this one for your weekend pleasure: Run #487, April Foolish Hash aka Sperm Bank's Redemption Hash

Lyrics to "Titanic" posted on the Songs page.

Did you know? You can also access this webpage by using the URL This makes giving our address to drunk people so much easier!

Our Mailing List is active. You can sign up to receive run notices/directions/anything we feel you might need to be notified about.

If you have previously hashed and would like to hare a run, please contact the Web Master. Or just surprise us and show up at the run. We love surprises! Just follow the directions on the Upcoming Runs Page.

Halve Mein Hash House Harriers, Established 2000. All Rights Reserved. @@