Halloween Hash - Run 59 - Colonie, NY
Where: Colonie, NY
Scribe: Sperm Bank
As darkness descended, THIRTEEN hashers and one hare assembled near the Shaker Barn for the annual Halloween run. All of the hashers turned out in costume. Francis and Glowplug (for tonight only) came as an electrical outlet and an electrical plug (the symbolism was not lost on the pack). Just Andrew and Just Alex represented the Marvel heroes contingent as Hulk and Wolverine (and since they were one piece costumes basically had to strip every time they had to take a leak). THFKAD and Stickley Bunz reprised their costumes from the legendary Ithaca toga party (and yes it got a little nippy in a bedsheet as the temperature plunged from 75 to 50 in about an hour) while Sperm Bank came as a Jay "Frankenstein" Leno. Dirtbag represented the U.S. Air Farce in a bewitching green jumpsuit accessorized with a darling blue ascot. Just Steve and Just Willie came as their lame ass selves.
Meanwhile, McCavity, the hare, was also not only without costume but also WITHOUT FLOUR as he waited for Bodsa, Just Carie, and Laurel and Hardly Running to find their way to the start. After twenty minutes of drinking light beer, eating Halloween candy, and seeing whose flashlight was bigger, the women made their appearance. McCavity then transformed to his Scottish "Kirkintollach or Bust, will work for alcohol" alter ego, Bodsa looked very stylish in her hippie attire, Laurel tried to be dignified in her little doggie fairy costume, and Just Carie was prancing about in a black afro trying to be Richard Simmons but looking a lot more like Screech. But, at last, the hare was off and Dirtbag led the pack in rousing turn of Seven Sons.
The run was the standard McCavity clusterfuck except it was dark and dollops of flour tend to wash out in the flashlight beams. Nonetheless, the pack was diligent in tearing through industrial parks and construction sites until they came upon a mark that said (and I'm not making this up) "BC 26'! Hard to believe but the hare obviously expected us to backcheck TWENTY-SIX dollops IN THE DARK! But we managed through sheer perseverance (or was it perversity) to find the trail and what little shaggy McCavity could find around the airport. We eventually got to the beer check and, to our HORROR, found it was a CANDY check. Fortunately, Stickley Bunz had carried a can of beer with her and generously shared it with her several new best friends.
Back on trail, McCavity once again did not lead the pack through the Shaker cemetery and instead found a huge marsh with duckboard bridges and lots of puddles to lead us through IN THE DARK! And, as we crossed a footbridge with the moon reflecting beautifully off the marsh, we came upon a clothing check. Francis and Glowplug completely switched costumes, but everyone else traded just parts. Unfortunately, no gratuitous nudity was observed. The pack stretched out through the woods and came out by the old folks home. Observing very little flour, or possibly ignoring it, the pack ran back to the cars for an official time of who knows and length of who cares.
The pack adjourned eagerly to THFKAD's house where he and Just Sue were throwing their annual Halloween bash. Ceremonies were in the garage and THFKAD handed out ON-ON foot stickers as Halloween presents (what a guy). McCavity down-downed dearly for a shiggy run and his BC26. We welcomed new boots Just Alex (Just Andrew made him come) and Just Willie (Francis made him come). Let the record show that Francis has belched. FRB went to THFKAD while DFL went, as usual, to Bodsa and Laurel, the fairy dog. At this point Francis had to leave the room and, to everyone's surprise, produced a huge plug protector to put over Glowplug's outlet, as if we couldn't be trusted. THFKAD announced lost shit and Dirtbag down-downed for a whistle and Stickley Bunz did it for a pair of socks. Francis has added the (W)anchor to the hash shit award for improperly marking a beer check. The pack recognized Bodsa's 10th run. Nominations for hash shit were competitive with McCavity for no beer on trail, Steve for no costume on trail, Bodsa for riding GG's horse, and Andrew for allegedly skipping the clothing check. Ultimately, Bodsa and Steve down-downed to end the ceremonies. Let the record show, Francis belched again.
If you have anything to add, send a note to email@example.com.