Hash 44 - Annual Jingle Bell Run
When: December 7, 2002
Where: Stockade, Schenectady, NY
Hare: Francis, Galloping Galumpkies
The hounds gathered together under a cloudless blue sky near the track at Second Chance Community College in beautiful, downtown Schenectady, New York. Astro Homo brought beer to share. Even though he had left it in the car overnight, we all enjoyed our slushy beers once we dug up a pen that we could use to break up the ice in the bottles. Fresh from the Burlington Drunken Pilgrim Hash, we did a round of Father Abraham, Burlington Style. Dirtbag was intent on teaching everyone the Burlington version of the "Who Said Head?" speech.
Our brave hares led us out of the parking lot, across Washington Avenue (THFKAD employed his trusty police grade whistle to stop oncoming traffic) and we found our thirsty selves at the first bar of the day!
To find it closed.
Daunting as this may be, and above the weeping and gnashing of teeth, our brave hares were undaunted. Their conversation, which quickly could have become bogged down and hopelessly mired in accusation ("I thought you'd called them!" "I thought you'd called them!"), was abandoned for the greater good of the pack, with no loss of face. We simply walked across the street to the second bar.
And found it open. This pleases us.
Having been advised that we couldn't (rather, shouldn't) sing in this bar, being a mostly Pop operation in which they made massive meat sandwiches, we elected instead that the Religious Advisor read a poem that celebrated the holiday spirit. We reprint this for you now.
De Ebonics Critmus Pome
From bar to bar we pranced and danced. We drank a lot. We learned how to sing "Chicago". We sang "Beastiality's Best". We sang the "Weekday Song" at the Saw Mill, a biker bar off Erie Boulevard. They have a bike hanging on the wall, that according to lore, is fired up every Valentine's Day, 11 years running. We made fast friends with Spike and he even joined us for the chorus of "De doop de doop de dooo." We figured out what everyone's boobs were, according to the Biker's Guide to Hooters (see Pictures). Noname Ester used some lame excuse ("I don't liiiike beer") to get top shelf drinks. We got really drunk. We terrorized children at Boulevard Bowl. We took our picture by the Christmas Tree in central square. We took our picture by a Police Car. We went shopping for adult toys and we couldn't get Noname Jan out of that store.
The circle was held in the last bar, Sports World. We had a 10 timer, Francis, who took his sweet time drinking his beer. Longest down-down since Noname Jan joined us. We had a namer - Noname John was named to "All Holes Hoping"
No FRB or DAL since this was a pub crawl. The HASH-IT was awarded to the hare, Francis, for not calling the first bar to make sure it was open.
Your Hash Scribe, The Hasher Formerly Known As Don (THFKAD)
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