Indian Kill Preserve Hash Trash
Jul 09, 2000
Hares: June Bischoff, Dirtbag
We couldn’t have asked for a better day for a hash. It wasn’t too hot or too cold and no shiggy weather like the week’s prior. Our hares for this run were the esteemed GM himself Dirtbag (a man of many hats) and No Name June. Not sure whether or not this was her first hare but hey I’m new. (GM Notes: Oh yes, it was her first time.)
We added two new Hashers to our growing club today to include worldwide hasher Pigvomit and myself No Name Sarah. At the on-on everyone seemed rather preoccupied with where fellow hasher No Name Amiee was I think Ken L. was particularly interested in her whereabouts but hey who am I to say.
As some of the pack went to look at a map of the Indian Kill Preserve the hares came out of the woods, but something was different. June had grown a tremendous set of hooters over the course of one night. How could this be? As Brian was soon to find out June had decorated the Hashit with a 44D bra which she had worn and inserted water balloons of the appropriate size and shape to give herself the correct hip to waist to breast proportions of a Barbie doll. After posing for pictures (see picture page), she removed the garment and Hashit and bestowed it upon its new carrier. After putting the bra on Brian was told he had to drink from the Hashit before starting the run. Oh well, I guess it would have been easier if he had not already put the bra on. When the hares arrived they already smelled of sweat and in my opinion laid a good portion of the trail in advance. But to top it off like any other hash out there according to Pigvomit it did not start on time. No Name June had had nothing to eat and needed to grab a quick bite. (Most hashers at this point would have sucked it up and drank a beer.) Just prior to Dirtbag and June going to get a bite, a mischievous Hasher decided what better way to start the day then to flour the hash van. (AKA Dirtbags minivan)
While out on the chow run a sight to be seen I swear, some old guy with a ponytail, a pipe, and a straw hat showed up in a Mazda Miata, before Pigvomit and I could contain ourselves, we found out it was No Name Junes significant other!!!!! So hey who say hashers aren’t out there, look at me I live with Pigvomit.
Well on to the run. After the hares took off we waited everyone obviously wanting to snare a hare, especially Pigvomit. The trail was actually nicer than I expected. We ran a lot of hills and through a stream or two but besides getting lost at the Turkey/Eagle split it was a good run. Oh yeah there were a two Dikes and a dog in the woods that kinda screwed up both Kens, through the grapevine I heard they got shown a new thing or two out in the woods.
By the end of the run I was ready for a beer, besides Pigvomit having to practically carry me to the down -down, I had no Idea what I was in for next.
At the down-down we gave away the awards of FRB which was Ken L. (once again I think the dikes and their dog made him run like hell) SCB to both Kens. The Hashit remained with Brian until a fitting recipient is found. Talk of giving it to a certain hasher who did not show was being discussed.
The GM Dirtbag appointed Pigvomit to the position of RA and we started singing a few songs. First to the New Boots or Virgin (Me), then to the hares and to the FRB’s and so on. Dirtbag lead us in a chorus of Alouette, in which Pigvomit decided to share information about my grooming habits with the group. (BTW they're all true,,, he he he) I wanted to kick his arse on the way home. We told a few jokes and had a lot of fun. This group doesn’t seem like they are much into the singing portion of the hash. For future reference, spike the soda or do a hash BQ with camping arrangements.
As Pigvomit lead us in the closing song we all called it a day and decided to pack in the van and head home. Overall 4 Stars and kudos to the hares good run.
At the next hash we’ll decide on more and more things to do, the hash is growing, RECRUIT MORE HASHERS.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups, ON-ON
Sarah "No-name" Thomas